I am sorry that I haven't been here very much. My mom was recently diagnosed with cancer, so now I am constantly driving up to Salina to help with chemo and give her some support. Here are some of my latest entries to my blog on Myspace:
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Blogging about mom...... Current mood: tired Category:
BloggingI just got in Salina a little while ago and thought I would check in first. My stomach is so nervous about my mom's surgery tomorrow I can't even eat. All I've had today is a donut this morning and some coffee. I hope I will be able to sleep tonight, I really don't think I will be able to. I am going to sign out for tonight and tomorrow night I will write how the surgery went. Keep mom in your prayers.
Monday, September 08, 2008
My Mom Current mood: drained Category:
BloggingWell I am back in my room. Mom's surgery went well. When she was admitted her blood pressure shot up really high, but the doctors got it under control and did the surgery. She now has the port inserted in her chest and is ready for chemo tomorrow morning. She began hurting around 2:00 so I gave her some some medicine and it knocked her out; so I decided to return to my room to get caught up on everything. We learned at the cancer center this morning that it is almost a cetainty that she will loose her hair. I keep teasing her that maybe it will come back blonde and she'll be better than ever! Mom hasn't shed one tear or at least not in front of me. I almost feel like I need to see her show some emotion, I don't know why? I pray that isn't selfish of me, if it is then I pray God will forgive me and give me the strength to continue each day with a smile on my face like mom. Tomorrow will the real test of her strength. Chemo will last 8 hours and will almost certainly wear her out. I will sign off for now and will check back in tomorrow. I want to thank everyone for their prayers. I really feel they will work.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
My mom’s chemo Current mood: confident Category:
BloggingI just got back to my room from mom's first round of chemo. She really took it like a pro. Every time a nurse asked how she was doing, she simply said that she was doing fine and that's how it was going to be. She is very vocal about telling everyone that she is tough and will not let the meds get her down. I think she is one tough cookie and if anyone can beat this she can. Mom's chemo lasted pretty close to 8 hours and she tried hard not to fall asleep. I did catch her dozing off a couple of times, but she always snapped out of it. She has managed to keep her appetite and so far has no side effects. The nurse said that the first IV bag of meds was the most powerful and if she was going to have a reaction, this would definately be the one. Fortunately, she had none, at least so far. I think if tomorrow if she is feeling fine, I am going to head for home. She has another doctor appointment next week, so I will be returning to Salina then. Mom has to go daily to get injections to help with her white cell counts, but other than that she won't have another chemo until October 1. I am so proud of my mom and I know if anyone can beat this cancer it is her. Again I want to thank everyone for their prayers and I will blog again tomorrow.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
My mom Current mood: optimistic Category:
BloggingMom had no trouble last night. One of the side effects was suppose to be sleeplessness, but fortunately she slepted soundly. Mom was full of energy today, with the exception of a cold, she is doing great. We went to the senior center and had lunch. It was great to see mom talking with other people and watch her talk about her cancer and how she is going to beat it. She finally told me that if she does loose her hair, she doesn't want to wear a hat; she wants a scarf, and maybe a wig. I still can't believe how much energy she has. I pray that this will continue and she won't have to face anything horrible. I am now back in Wichita and plan on returning to Salina on next Wednesday for her next appointment. Since mom is doing so good, I thought this would be a good chance for me to return to school for a few days so I can catch up on my missed assignments. My teachers have been simply wonderful. I guess I will wrap this up and hopefully talk with mom tomorrow and give an update at a later date.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Mom Current mood: blah Category:
BloggingMom is still doing really good. I am almost too scared to write this, but its the truth. She is suppose to drink 2-3 quarts of water a day, but mom is really not much for drinking water anyway so this is giong to take a lot bugging her to get her to drink all of that water. She has another doctor appoinment on Wednesday and then we wait until October 1 for her next chemo. I pray that she continues to feel really good. I am so worried that one day, she will wake up and that's when it will hit her. I pray that day doesn't come. I am so tired, that I am heading off to bed really early tonight.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
My mom Current mood: distressed Category: sad
BloggingHello again. I am sorry that I haven't written for a while. I have been busy trying to catch up on all my missed classes. Now about mom:
I got back from Salina last night. I took mom to yet another doctor appointment at Tammy Walker Cancer Center. The nurse informed us that mom had lost another 5 pounds since her last appointment last Wednesday. We both were completely confused, because we had just finished lunch at Carlos O'Kellys not even an hour beforehand and she had eaten a fairly good sized meal. I took my mom over to Dillions to get her meds refilled and soon found out that she is keeping her symptoms a secret from me. I noticed that as she walked she was getting tired at a quicker pace than normal. Each time she would stop to rest, she would start talking about anything just to try to distract me. I am pretty sure she is doing this so we won't worry about her. Later, I asked her if she had cried yet? She said that she wasn't going to allow herself to breakdown. I told her it was alright to be scared, because I was. She looked at me and repeated what is becoming her motto....."I am fine, nothing is going to happen." I am planning on calling my brother and sisters and see what they think about mom's little secret. I also want to thank everyone for their prayers . They are greatly appreciated by myself and family. I really feel them especially when I am lying in bed and night, trying to stop thinking so I can get some rest. Well I am going to get to my next class. I will blog later this weekend.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
My Mom Current mood: hopeful Category:
BloggingThis is a photo of my mom probably a few days before she began chemo. I thought it would be nice to put a face to my blogs about her and her fight against cancer. Mom is just like me and really
hates to have her picture taken. So as you can easily see I surprised her. Oh well, at least now everyone can see what my mom looks like.I found this poem and thought of my mom, my hero.No one really knows by Pati Rosenberg"No one really knowsWhat kind of bond we shareAnd even if I told themThey probably wouldn't careYou are very dear to meI hope you know it's trueAnd now that you are sickTell me what that I should do?While you've been goneA part of me has been lostIt's like I've taken our friendship for grantedAnd now I'm paying the costI never knew how much you meant to me until you went awayThe thought of you being really sickHaunted me every dayI spent a few days at school alone and my weekend was such a boreA lot of my time was spent in my roomI think my mom's ready to break down the doorAnd now I make this vow to you to keep until the endI'll help you through the pain and tearsUntil our rivers bendSo if you ever need someoneYou know just who to callI'll be here by the phoneTo catch you if you fall "
